An “Inclusive” wedding with “Exclusive” love

“Kalyanam Pannipaar Veetai Kattipaar”, is a famous Tamil quote about taking responsibility and experiencing its nuances. This proved to be true indeed, during the grand wedding of our BM family in March 2024. I joined this family just a year before the big wedding, in 2023.

The first thing we do in preparation for the wedding is to fix the wedding day or the ‘Muhurtham’. However, in our case, the ‘Muhurtham’ had already been set for March 10, 2024, the same day when the two visionaries – Shri Kamaraj and Smt Manjubhashini, initiated the Home for Homeless Children in 1949, providing a shelter for children in difficult circumstances.

The next immediate agenda was to fix the venue – gather details of all proposed places, draw a comparison in terms of capacities, amenities, facilities, priorities, and all other “ties” before zeroing in on one that wins your “unanimity”. The Sir Mutha Venkatasubba Rao Concert Hall within the Lady Andal School campus on Harrington Road, emerged as the unanimous choice.

Now that the date and place were fixed, discussions about the marriage commenced at every level. Initially, elders engaged in conversations about rituals, customs, and ceremonies. Following this, young adults began discussing their favourites and preferences. In Bala Mandir, the top management began discussions about the theme, programme, menu, and other details, the staff started sharing their expectations and experiences. Senior staff members shared their past experiences of such festivities, while juniors expressed their expectations.

New clothes are an indispensable part of any festival. As a mark of the commencement of the festive mode, all staff – women received sarees and men, kurtas. Before flagging off any big event, we seek blessings for divine grace and guidance, and so did we. We honoured not just one faith, but every major faith in our country. Prayers were conducted by women, invoking the motherly nature of the divine and symbolising the relationship of our institution to the children.

We move on to the next phase, choosing invitations and making a list of invitees. On one hand, the management was working on designing the logo and the invitation, while on the other hand, the admin staff began compiling a list of all donors, sponsors, staff, past and present members of our family, and everyone else involved – friends, acquaintances, just as we do in our own family celebrations.

Marriages are not only about welcoming new ties but also about cherishing and renewing older ones. It’s during these times that elders come forward with stories about all the relatives, acquaintances, and even their own experiences to impart wisdom to the younger generation. We had the opportunity to learn more about our founder members and the journey we have undertaken, that we were continuing.

With the list of invitees ready, we planned the distribution process, assigning responsibilities evenly among family members. Some invitations were to be sent via mail, others in person, and some through courier.

As the day drew nearer, we experienced a sense of urgency and excitement and a mix of emotions, born out of our careful attention to not miss anything. While we put in extended work hours with increased productivity, our leaders dedicated their entire day, except for sleeping, to the preparation of this grand celebration. Since I had the opportunity to work closely with them, I sometimes even doubted if they had ever closed their eyes. For instance, we would have calls running late into the night discussing various aspects, and the next morning in the office, I would see that they had accomplished a lot of work after the call and were already prepared for the next step.

Our leaders inspired us by their actions

Is a wedding a one-day event? Certainly not! All our dear and near ones arrived couple of days earlier and we had the ‘Nishchayathartham’ or engagement function before the big day which was attended by our friends, partners and volunteers who had extended their time and expertise to enhance the lives of our children in various ways, to whom we could now show our gratitude and strengthen our bonds.

Next came the big day with all the preparations and expectations. We were dressed up well for the occasion. I was very eager to see the sequence of events from the beginning, as I was drafting the programme and agenda every time. The strange thing is that they never go the way you plan, but still your planning helps you go through it successfully.

Our entire family team was scattered throughout the hall, attending to guests, guiding them to their seats, assisting children, overseeing arrangements, and remaining alert for any urgent assistance that might be needed. Then it struck me: the family hosting the wedding never gets to sit back and enjoy it!

Just as we have in our weddings, in the last moments, we too had glitches and hitches to tackle, which we did successfully because we were members of a large joint family and had the support of the elders.

Generally, a wedding involves two families joining together through the two souls. Here countless families of children, members well-wishers, and committed volunteers across gender, caste, creed, countries and faith were joined by the single thread of their love for children and care for society through the soulful service and activities of Bala Mandir.

Similar to the ‘Sapthapadi’ or seven vows, our leaders renewed their vows of commitment to the welfare of children and their well-being in every possible way with the five branches as of now and ready to branch out more in the future.

What’s a wedding without a colourful cultural celebration? We had a variety of cultural performances by the little ‘Gods and Goddesses’ of our ‘Bala Mandir’ temple. Not just one or two, but more than 130 children aged from 5 to 14 depicted all the units and service activities,  to the audience.

When the function was just about to end, we could see our ‘family members’ from yesteryears having emotional exchanges with one another. It was  heart-warming for them to witness all of their dreams for Bala Mandir reach greater heights.

A sense of joy and satisfaction gripped our hearts as we felt content and grateful for the successful finale of the celebration which included an ‘Alumni Meet’ – children and grandchildren of Bala Mandir Home, delighting us with their childhood memories.

As the curtains drew to a close on our Diamond Jubilee celebration, it was like the moment when the newlyweds bid farewell to their guests after a joyous wedding. But just like in a marriage, the end of one chapter marked the beginning of another. While I have shared tales of our joy and unity during this grand occasion, there are still numerous stories waiting to unfold. Join me in the upcoming blogs as we explore the behind-the-scenes activities that made our celebration truly unforgettable. Until then, let the echoes of our jubilee reverberate, reminding us of the bonds we’ve forged and the memories we’ve created together.